


The Square Root of Pi

by UnluckiestFridays



Series: The Doctor Meets the Doctor [13]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Humor, Multiple Doctors (Doctor Who), Teaching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:41:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23771734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UnluckiestFridays/pseuds/UnluckiestFridays
Summary: The Doctors realise they've all been teaching at the same university at the same time, and embark on a quest to find who's really the better teacher.
Series: The Doctor Meets the Doctor [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1265003
Comments: 2
Kudos: 62





	The Square Root of Pi

**Author's Note:**

> this has been in my drafts for about a year so I've decided to finally finish it and get it posted. i hope you all enjoy :) x

The Doctor tossed his shiny red apple with a smiley face on it up and down a few times as he strolled the corridor before catching it a final time and taking a bite. Life was good at the moment. It was... almost peaceful. Mind you, he's not usually one to just sit around and enjoy the peace like a normal person, but somehow, he found himself enjoying working at this university in the middle of nowhere on Earth.

If you were to ask him why he was working at the university, he wouldn't have a very good answer. It would be something along the lines of 'well... I don't know,' (one of his most common answers) or perhaps even 'why not?'

But if you asked him do you enjoy working here, the answer would almost certainly be a huge 'yes!' followed by a good natter about what he likes most about the university.

He usually avoided confrontation with the other professors, though, preferring mostly to converse with the bright students that attend the University. In his personal opinion, after meeting one or two of the professors, he had come to the conclusion that the students talked about less boring stuff. Less... adult-y stuff.

Doing a twirl, earning himself grins from passing students, he stopped at his classroom door. After taking another bite and humming in satisfaction, he entered the room.

Up at the front, there was a podium in which he stood when giving lectures about whatever he wanted. A blackboard stood on the podium, always used to talk through some way too advanced equations. There was also a desk, pushed up against the wall as it was barely used. Why sit when you can stand, and hop, and skip, and even run?

Most of the room was filled with chairs for students. Chairs upon chairs upon chairs. Way too many in his opinion, but he found they were almost always filled. And the more people, the better.

Another merry hum passed his lips and he smiled, quickly finishing off his apple before tossing it in the bin off to the side and writing something on the blackboard for his next lecture.

...

"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I _would_ have lasted longer in a cell with Robin Hood," the Doctor finished up, dramatically drawing a frown on his drawing of Robin Hood on the blackboard.

He turned around, tossing the chalk over his shoulder with the thought that he'd pick it up later (he probably wouldn't).

There was drawn out silence from his students, each of them wearing immensely confused and looking at each other to see if the person next to them understood what was going on.

The Doctor huffed.

"Oh, you lot," he started, "so boring! Bill would've liked this lecture. I bet even Missy would've cracked a smile and she doesn't find anything I say amusing."

Before he could further his rant about why he was indeed funny, the bell rang, signalling the end of the lecture. He sighed and waved his hand, dismissing them all and beginning his muttering about the next lesson. He would teach them all about space. Probably. That was always a good subject.

...

"Physics!" The Doctor started as his class strolled in. They all took their seats as he continued. "Physics. Physics."

"Why are you saying the same word over and over, Professor?" A student inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm not," Ten said and moved on swiftly, "who wants to learn about physics?"

Several hands shot up along with a few nods from other students.

"Well, we're not going to," he grinned and turned to his blackboard.

He picked up the chalk, wiped away the last lesson's work with the eraser, and began to scribble equations on the board. They were maths equations and had nothing to do with physics.

...

The Doctor paced energetically back and forth, all of her student's eyes upon her though by this point they'd lost her and had no idea what she was talking about or who Graham was.

"And then I told him not to touch the big button, but then what did he go and do?" Thirteen huffed, throwing her arms up.

"He touched it anyway?" One brave student guessed.

"Yes! He did exactly that! I mean, I expected that from Ryan, not _Graham_ ," the Doctor put her hands on her hips, a thoughtful expression on her face.

There was silence for a good few minutes as she stopped to think about... well, whatever the enigmatic blonde Professor thought about.

"So, anyway!" She suddenly exclaimed a moment later. "The square root of Pi! Who knows it? I do. But who wants to try?"

This finally gained some grins from the students and many hands shot up, all of them eagerly waiting to be picked.

"Uh, let's see," she hummed, scanning the audience, "what about you, Fred?"

"Yes!" Fred grinned and got up from his seat to join the Doctor at the blackboard.

"I want the solution as well, no reciting it by memory," she warned and handed Fred the chalk.

Fred nodded obediently and started his working out.

"Hey, Professor," one of the students spoke whilst Fred was still doing his working out.

The Doctor turned around to spot a girl with ginger hair and freckles with her hand up, waiting patiently.

"How can I help you?" The Doctor asked cheerily.

"You remind me of someone," the girl said conversationally.

"Oh? Who's that then?"

"The Doctor."

The Doctor's face fell and she stared blankly at the girl, unsure how to respond. How could she have found out? She asked herself.

"What?" Was all she could manage out loud, trying and failing to seem oblivious.

"The Doctor," the girl repeated, "you know, the Professor here at the university. Bit mad, fluffy grey hair, dresses a bit like a magician."

This time, the Doctor gulped. Surely she couldn't be talking about... But who else by that description and name would be teaching at a university? And if she couldn't remember it, then they were almost definitely at the same place at the same time.

"Really? I've never heard of him," she said.

"That's weird, I thought everyone knew him," the girl shrugged.

"Not me. What classroom does he teach in? I'd love to get to know him," the Doctor smiled, trying to play it off cool.

Inside, however, she was genuinely worried. Two Doctors at the same place at the same time? The paradoxes could be disastrous. Who knew how long they'd been there together by now.

"Oh, he's just down the hall," the redhead told her.

"Now that's just annoying," the Doctor muttered to herself.

"And finished!" Fred announced, whirling around.

The Doctor turned and admired his work. It was correct. He'd gotten the answer right down to the number.

"Brilliant! Well done, Fred, that's amazing!" the Doctor praised.

At that moment, the bell rang signalling the end of the lecture. The Doctor took the chalk from Fred and dismissed her students for their next lecture.

When they were all gone, she hung back a moment simply looking around. When she thought it had been a suitable amount of time, she dashed out of the room and down the hall to find her previous regeneration's classroom.

Each door she passed, she read the name on the plaque up until she came to the fourth door down. The gold plaque on the fourth door down read simply, 'The Doctor.'

She pouted at the door. All this time she had been going by Jane Smith when she could have been using her actual name. It was a good job she hadn't, though, she supposed because it seemed her previous self had already done so.

Peering through the window, she looked around the classroom to try and spy the grey-haired man. Unfortunately, the room was empty. Everyone must have left when the bell had rung, including Twelve. Perhaps he had a free period, Thirteen reasoned.

Sighing, she resigned herself to searching around the enormous University for her previous self.

As she turned away from the door, she collided with another person who grunted at in response.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Thirteen apologised, already taking a step back away from the person. At the sight of the man she'd crashed into, her jaw fell open.

"It's all right, no harm done," the man smiled, but then it fell away at the sight of her expression. "Is there a problem?"

"I think there might be, yeah," Thirteen responded.

The man with the spikey hair and brown duster frowned.

"Doctor," Thirteen greeted him.

"You know me?" Ten asked quietly, stepping forward slightly.

"Yeah," Thirteen said, "definitely know you."

"Okay... who are you?"

"You can call me the Doctor. Or Thirteen," Thirteen introduced herself, holding out a hand as her smile immediately returned to her face.

"No," Ten's mouth fell open but then morphed into a smile, "no, you're having me on. You- you're me? That's brilliant!"

Thirteen nodded enthusiastically, shaking Ten's hand vigorously.

"Yep! It came as a bit of a shock to me, too, but here I am!" Thirteen said.

"How are you finding it? Is it difficult, what with the- the... well, you know."

"I shouldn't say really, but I suppose you'll need it in the future," Thirteen started.

"Excuse me," someone interrupted her.

Thirteen froze whilst Ten looked over her shoulder to see who was addressing them.

"Hi, sorry to interrupt, bit awkward, but have either of you seen a young lad. Brown hair, bit short, wearing a bomber jacket," the man approached them, tossing a cricket ball back and forth in his hands.

"No, nope, sorry," Ten shrugged.

"Uh," Thirteen drawled, "yeah, bit awkward. Not sure how the universe hasn't imploded yet."

"Wait," the man said, eyes finally taking in Ten in all his Time Lord-y glory. "You again?!"

"I'm sorry, do we know each other?" Ten asked.

"Oh, wait, sorry, spoilers. What I meant to say is, simply, _you_?" The floppy-haired man tried.

"Still don't know who you are," Ten muttered.

"He's you," Thirteen explained.

"How do you know that?" The man turned to her with a confused frown.

"Cause I'm also you," Thirteen pressed her lips together, shrugging. "Number Thirteen. Pleased to meet you, Eleven."

"Three of us? I'm not sure whether this is worse the second time 'round," Eleven awkwardly scratched his cheek.

"Second?" Ten prompted.

"Nevermind," Thirteen backtracked, "we just need to get back to our TARDISes and leave before the universe implodes."

"Right, yes, good idea," Eleven agreed.

Ten nodded.

"See you around, then? Nice meeting you, Doctor," Ten nodded, itching the back of his head. Neither of them had ever been very good at goodbyes.

"See you around," Eleven replied.

"Goodbye, Doctor," added Thirteen.

"I like your coat by the way," Ten complimented, slowly backing up.

"Thank you," Thirteen smiled, "I like yours."

Ten nodded almost sadly, swallowing a lump in his throat. Eleven smiled a watery smile and coughed, giving them a small wave as he prepared to take his leave.

"Is there a reason you're all gathering outside my classroom like a flock of pigeon?"

Thirteen froze for what felt like the hundredth time that day, slowly turning around to be met with the sight of aggressive eyebrows barely hidden behind black shades.

"Oh, it's you two," Twelve realised, spotting Ten and Eleven. He turned to Thirteen and gave her a once over. "And I'm guessing you must also be me?"

"Yep," Thirteen nodded, "next one along."

There was silence for a moment as Twelve stared back at Thirteen, and the other two awkwardly glanced at each other.

"Right," Twelve finally said, "and what are you all doing here? Have you any idea the damage this could do to the universe?"

"No, no we do not," Ten sarcastically answered.

"You should all leave so I can get back to teaching without any possible universe-ending consequences," Twelve said, ignoring Ten.

He turned and unlocked his classroom with a key.

"Why do we have to leave so you can continue teaching? Why shouldn't you lot leave so I can teach?" Ten challenged, clearly no longer feeling up to leaving.

"Because I was here first," Twelve retorted and turned to stare down Ten.

"I don't think you were," Ten said, "I've been here four days. What about you?"

"Same as you," Twelve answered.

"Uh, I've been here three days, but I'd still really like to teach," Eleven inputted.

"And me," Thirteen added, raising her hand.

"Well, we can't all teach here. The consequences could be disastrous," Twelve pointed out.

"Everything has been fine so far," Ten pointed out, "I mean, I didn't even know you lot were here."

"Neither did I," Thirteen agreed.

"That doesn't change the fact that are _four_ versions of the same person in one place," Twelve rolled his eyes, "we can't stay here."

"I'm sure it'll be all right for a day or two," Ten shrugged and rocked back and forth on the balls of this feet.

Twelve paused and stared at him blankly, then turned his gaze to his other-selves.

"Have you all completely lost your mind?" He asked.

When they all opened their mouths to respond, though, he held a hand up to stop them.

"Nevermind, don't answer that," he sighed.

The three other Doctors remained dutifully quiet and watched him as he held a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed. He then ran his hand down his face and shook his head, muttering something to himself.

"You know what, fine," he relented, "we've all already been here for at least four days and the universe hasn't imploded yet."

Thirteen and Ten lit up, Eleven gaped slightly.

"Just to confirm, are you saying we can all teach here?" Eleven prompted.

"Yes, I am," Twelve sighed.

"Yes!" Thirteen high-fived Eleven in her excitement and the two smiled at each other.

"That's a relief. I'm sure my students would be disappointed if their favourite teacher suddenly disappeared," Ten said casually.

"'Favourite teacher'?" Twelve scoffed. "I'll have you know, _I'm_ everyone's favourite around here."

"You? Don't make me laugh!" Thirteen scronched her face.

"Yeah, everyone knows I'm the favourite," Eleven nodded beside Thirteen.

"That wasn't my point," Thirteen told Eleven. "Obviously I meant _I'm_ the favourite."

"You? Why would _you_ be the favourite? I bet your lessons are boring!"

The following few minutes were long, filled with the sound of four grown adults arguing over who was the better teacher. The few students who wandered by the group barely batted an eyelid as they continued on their way.

The arguing only stopped a further two minutes later when the discussion almost turned physical after Thirteen took it upon herself to whack Ten on the arm during her proclamation of being the best teacher.

It was at that point that Twelve and Eleven decided to be the mature ones and stop the argument.

"Okay, okay!" Twelve stepped in. "It is fairly obvious by now that we all think we're the favourite teacher."

"I'm definitely the favourite," Eleven muttered to himself, arms crossed. He covered it up with a cough.

"So, let's put this to the test," Twelve continued, pointedly ignoring his former self. "We may all continue to teach at the university for two more days. In these days, we shall deduce who's _really_ the favourite. Sound fair?"

"Yep," Ten nodded his approval, "but, just so we all know, it's definitely going to be me."

"Ha, we'll see about that," Thirteen snorted.

"Oh, you're on, Doctor."


End file.
